Angi Taylor Show Recap With Jay The Gay

Photo: PATCHARIN SIMALHEK / iStock / Getty Images

This is just a small taste of the show overall, the bits and bobs that I found interesting, funny, insightful and relevant. To hear everything that happened, check out the podcast of today's show. However, if you're looking for a quick read along with random self inserts and my personal thoughts, you've come to the right place.

Call in Point:

(This is the broadstroke canvas on which I base my call, obviously these notes are going to be longer and more detailed

Another glaring beacon to showcase that summer is almost over has arrived once again. That's right, it is officially Lollapalooza weekend (because for them, it starts on a Thursday) and it is going to be a hot one today. However, the heat and the exciting music festival does not mean that Angi's heart will grow three sizes this day. In fact, after viewing a video about the bedrooms of Chrissy Teigen and John Legend's kids, Angi somewhat decided to get a jump start on the yearly Airing of Grievances. Overlooking the gold plated piano and wine spritzer drinking fountain, Angi's focus on the kids bedroom was laser sharp. She started with the 7 year old daughter who has a loft bed and slide that leads into a built in ball pit. As for the 5 year old, he has a jeep bunk bed with working headlights. He also has a cave that he can go into to read. There is also a climbable wall that leads to his loft. Unlike this kid, myself, Angi and Marris did not have race car beds. Being triggered by all this, Angi took a trip down memory lane to complain about all the things she did not get as a kid. Remember those big 64 count boxes of Crayola crayons with the sharpener in the back. Those were too rich for Angi's parents and so she got a bunch of melted candles shaped like crayons. Malibu Barbie's dream house, in her dreams. In fact, Angi was thrown out of her own house before she would even be considered for that type of luxury. An Easy Bake Oven was also a childhood wish and to much shock, she actually did receive it from a co-worker on air. After spending five minutes trying to make treats with a lightbulb, she grew bored and threw it in the garbage. So even though she finally had gotten something she desired, it was not good enough. I fear what will happen when we eventually give her a Barbie cake like she wanted all through childhood and would instead usually get cakes with witches on them (the irony.) As for Marris, he had always wanted a pet turtle as a kid (how on brand of him) but he never got it. For this reason, he still bothers his mother about it to this day and she has told him that it was never going to happen. He had made a giant Powerpoint for it and even asked for donations, figuring raising it could have been a family collaboration but mama Marris laid down the truth. 1) She hates reptiles (which explains the gecko rebellion,) and 2) turtles are ridden with salmonella. Back to the cakes though before we check in with the roadies about what they're salty about not getting, Marris never got his Ninja Turtle cake so he joins Angi in the disappointed by every birthday ever club. Back to the Request Line though, we started with Head Roadie Frankie, who wanted a Big Wheels car with the brake on the back so he could skid out like the "cool kids." He ended up getting one but with the brake and he hated it, which is something he never let his mother live down. Terry wanted an Atari so bad so he could play Space Invaders but alas, it never came. Angi reminisced about how the loser kid on the block no one played with became Mr. Cool when he got an Atari system. Chad wanted a G.I. Joe USS Flagg which was an airplane carrier toy. He wanted it so badly that he asked for it for two Christmas' in a row but never got it. It was $150 at the time but these days, a good condition one could fetch $1,000. Angi suggested he should have sold the idea of it as an investment and probably should have gotten a second one to resell later (which of course no one thinks of as a kid, that idea was just stupid.)

Other Stuff from Today's Show

While just glancing over my scribbled down things from the show today, I kind of noticed a theme. From junk you wanted as a kid to junk you have now, with a mix of celebrities thrown in for good measure, there were a lot of same wavelength theme vibes today. Next up though was the Daily Discussion topic, spawned by Buzzfeed's list of weird things celebrities have in their homes. For example, Sheryl Crow has traditional death masks of dead presidents like McKinley and Taft. Robert Downey Jr.'s house is a converted windmill, which is wild. Rainn Wilson has a pig farm and collects gas station art. Neil Patrick Harris has a stretched out portrait from the Haunted Mansion ride at Disney. He also has a set of monkey bars with taxidermied monkeys hanging from them. Dita Von Teese has a ton of taxidermied stuff including tigers. Cara Delevingne has a vagina tunnel in her house though we're unsure if it's a life scale model or something else. Clearly, after hearing some of this stuff, these celebrities have way too much money. That said though, Angi wanted to know what the roadies have in their house that if someone were to come over, they would be weirded out by it. Though she did not give an example of it, I reminded Angi over text in our exclusive +1 only premium platinum star max plus thread that she had a literal wing of her house essentially adorned as a boxing hall of fame. As for Marris, he used to keep stolen street signs in his condo that were given to him "by a friend." His favorite was Drury Lane which was famously referenced when discussing the Muffin Man (God, what a dork.) He got rid of them though when people called them dumb but the reality is that Angi said he's totally a geek. I don't have anything super weird these days but I'd say maybe the 10 inch Ursula POP I have above the towel cabinet in my bathroom (we're not discussing that or the 50 other POP's situated around the apartment.) Okay, now that our geekdom has been splayed out, let's go to the Request Line to hear some roadie weirdness. Mike has a scale that he uses for his daughter's food that people naturally (rightfully) assume he's using to measure drugs. Grace has a beautiful diamond ring that belonged to her grandmother. The thing is, the ring was from when she cheated on her husband and now it is passed down as an heirloom. Degenerate Taylor suggested that she pawn the ring because of course she did. Tyler has 4 taxidermied dogs that belonged to his grandfather hidden away in the attic. Whenever he is around them, he feels like their glass eyes are following him, which is a whole nother level of horrible. Angi said that they, along with all other taxidermied stuff, belong in the Field Museum. If you are looking for more roadie comments or have your own, hit up our Facebook group (The Angi Taylor Show) and read up or drop us a comment.

Moving along and we are still on the nerd train as Angi asked Marris if he is a Magic the Gathering guy. While his geekdom does not go that far, he does love Marvel, DC, Star Wars and video games. He considers himself a rule breaker who doesn't need to pick a side in the comic book wars as he loves them all. Well, the reason she brought this up was the talk of the pop culture world yesterday was Post Malone, who bought a one of a kind The Lord of the Rings inspired Magic the Gathering (Christ, say that three times fast) One Ring card. The card has an alternate artwork and is entirely written in Elvish and was randomly inserted into packs of a The Lord of the Rings Magic the Gathering set. I should add here that Marris like The Lord of the Rings as well (dork.) The set was released in June and people went nuts buying cases of cards in an attempt to get the one ring. Well, it was pulled and then tracked down by Post Malone, who bought it from the puller (pulley?) Brook Trafton. Post Malone dropped a cool $2,000,000 on the card and made the dreams come true for Brook, who considered it akin to a fairy tale to meet and sell the card to Post Malone (all of this is hell to me.) Post Malone apparently now becomes the new Logan Paul only he has a real card and not a fake Charizard Pokemon card that Logan paid $3,500,000 for so that's something. Before we got out of this comic con hell, Angi wondered what Marris' dream piece of nerdom would be. He would want the actual costumes from the original live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. He would definitely display it (tying back to the weird stuff in your place topic) though he would also attempt to fit into the outfit and walk around wearing it. Since they go for less than a million bucks, maybe Angi will use some of her Angi Taylor money to buy one for him.

Finally, we close out these notes today looking at the next round of the Angi Taylor bathroom struggle bus. Now mind you, she doesn't poop orange sherbert or anything but if she did, she would be uncomfortable doing it at home as it would upend the sexy that she attempts to present to Jay the Straight. Between the knot above her eye, the bruises from the fall and deflated tits though, I don't think there's much left. However, she did find a Tiktok from a girl named Sienna who showed girls how to poop at a guy's house. The first is to turn on the shower and pretend you're taking one to alleviate any noise. The second is to pretend that you need to fix your frizzy hair and turn the hair dryer on. The final strategy is called "the hammock." For this one, you put a long piece of toilet paper vertically to mask the sound of the droppings as well as the backsplash. Again, these are all tips Angi could use if she pooped but she doesn't. I'm assuming this has something to do with her diet mainly consisting of Blackened whiskey and wine.

Request Wars 3.0

Champion: Angi (1x)

Angi's Song Choice: "Bawitdaba" by Kid Rock

Marris' Song Choice: "My Way" by Limp Bizkit

Winner: Angi

10 O' Clock Toast:

Toastee: Asian Zoos

Angi is 100% convinced that the viral video of a sun bear in a zoo in China is actually a person in a costume based on the bear's ass. Another zoo apparently has a man in a golden retriever costume posing as a lion. This made her declare that we should liberate all the zoos and put people in costumes, her included, in their place. We also learned that Marris is a "scaly" which is the lizard form of a furry.

Show Quotes and Tidbits:

"I'm very trough curious." - Angi

"They thought I'd be the pied pipper of leading kids to a drug den or something." - Angi